My God

I stinkin' LOVE Psalm 71!!! The thing that I took most note of was how the psalmist used the word "my" when referring to God...

-My Rock/My Rock of Refuge
-My Hope
-My Confidence
-My Fortress
-My Strong Refuge
-My God

The psalmist had such a love and confidence in the Lord that he continued to call Him his own. He know his identity was in Christ along. When you identity is aligned correctly you will view yourself as a SON of God rather than a SLAVE or an ORPHAN..

Just look at the words above he used to describe the Lord. These are all showing evidence of his trust and faithfulness in God. He literally has put all of his chips in. He knows he can go to the Lord any time for anything. He goes to Him when he's tempted, when he is being persecuted, to praise, and to plead.

Father, I pray that when we call you that we would really think of the significance behind you being a Father to us, which makes us your sons and daughters. God, I pray that we could think/refer/rely on you like this man. I want to turn to you in everything and have full faith that you will always be faithful and come to my side. Lord, give me the strength to call on your name in every situation. Help me not only turn to you...but to run to you! Jesus, thank you for what you did on that cross and what you continue to do in my heart.

I am overwhelmed with your love ad mercy in my life. You are my Great Deliverer and I will continue to trust in you through everything. Amen and Amen!

The Desire of My Heart

I have been making my way through Isaiah lately and I am now on chapter 26. I came across a couple verses and I just was, yet again, astonished at some of the words...


"Yes, Lord, walking in the way of your laws, we wait for you; your name and renown are the desire of our hearts. My soul yearns for you in the night; in the morning my spirit longs for you. When your judgments come upon the earth, the people of the world learn righteousness." Isaiah 26:8-9


I was reading through and noticed how many times they use the word 'you' referring to God. Because of that and just the surrounding Scripture I could immediately tell that God himself was the wholehearted desire of this people! That is ALL they wanted! I compared to my own life and I was quite embarrassed. My life is nothing like these people...my heart is going in so many different directions, grabbing at so many different things. To put it bluntly, my heart is a whore to this world! I am so wrapped up in and blinded by these earthly things that I cannot see the things that God offers me! And the things he offers are a million times better than the things that I can try and muster up on my own!

Also reading through Psalms has got me thinking the same thing...


"Whom have I in heaven but you? And earth has nothing I desire besides you. My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever." Psalm 73:25-26


This Psalmist desires NOTHING on this earth except for the Creator of the Universe. I WANT THAT! I am insanely jealous of that! Portion...what do you think when you hear the word portion? I think of food. I think of a portion of food. Thanksgiving is closing in on us so lets say a turkey. I would get a portion of the turkey to eat. I am going to take a portion that satisfies my need. By saying portion they are saying again that God, and nothing else, is all they need! Not only all they need, but all the WANT.

I pray that my heart would be like these people. I pray that the only desire of my heart would be God and God alone; everything else falling in suit behind him. I plead with you, Lord, to give me that desire. Give me YOU as the ultimate desire of my heart. I know that's what I want, but I don't know if I completely understand my NEED. Father, show me my need for you. Spirit, work inside of me and change the desires of my heart from these worthless, earthly things, to you God. I desire for my soul to yearn for you and my spirit to long for you. Grant me this through your all-sufficient grace, O, God.

Identity

Wow, school has just officially started and I am already busy! Just as a quick update, God has been so stinkin' faithful with EVERYTHING! Praying for Knutzen Men's and Women's Bible studies and God is providing residents of all years! I am so excited to see what else God may do with this place while I am here...praying that He would use me where he needs me. Just had an ice cream social last night to promote the Bible studies and we had a pretty decent turnout for that so praise Him!


So I have been thinking more and more about is how important our identities are. People are so very cautious these days when talking about things dealing with our identities. And rightfully so, I suppose, with all the identity thefts that happen today because of our ever-growing technological knowledge. But, I have also been finding that we as the human race find our identities in some really foolish things. People find their identities in music, in art, in their careers, in their failures, and in their successes. Some things that people find their identities in seem like they are good things, but, in reality they are not. We strive to find our identity in things that are eternally worthless. We strive, and work, and labor, and exert our efforts on things trying to please ourselves and maybe even trying to please God...but friends, it will all be for naught. This tendency in us to performance is rooted in our inadequate view of God's holiness and our identity. We view ourselves as orphans instead of children who God delights in.

Identity goes right along with the gospel and what the Bible spells out for us. Identity is one of the most significant facets of the gospel; more specifically, our adoption as God's sons and daughters. When we put our faith in Jesus Christ, we become God's children and are then literally apart of His family. But all too often we forget our identity as sons and daughters and think of ourselves as slaves or orphans. With that in mind take a look at what Galatians 4:4-7 says...

"But when the time had fully come, God sent his Son, born of a woman, born under law, to redeem those under law, that we might receive the full rights of sons. Because you are sons, God sent the Spirit of his Son into our hearts, the Spirit who calls out, "Abba, Father." So you are no longer a slave, but a son; and since you are a son, God has made you also an heir."

And also, Romans 8:14-18...

"because those who are led by the Spirit of God are sons of God. For you did not receive a spirit that makes you a slave again to fear, but you received the Spirit of sonship. And by him we cry, "Abba, Father." The Spirit himself testifies with our spirit that we are God's children. Now if we are children, then we are heirs--heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ, if indeed we share in his sufferings in order that we may also share in his glory. I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us."

These two passages reveal to us that we are no longer "slaves of fear", but God has redeemed us from that and we are now his children, heirs to his Kingdom. If this is really true, why do we continue to forget about our sonship? It is because of sin that we are pone to forgetting. Our sin creates a sense of alienation within us, and when this happens we regress back into that orphan/slave mindset, trying to gain God's approval by our good works rather than believing that we already have it in Christ. When we fail to root our identity in our adoption as God's children, we slip into performance-driven Christianity. Living this way, always trying to gain God's favor, drains the joy and delight out of following Jesus and shrinks the cross and the gospel in our lives.


I want you to ask yourself a question...as God thinks of you right now, what is the look on his face?

What is he doing? What does he look like? Do you picture God as disappointed? Angry? Does his face say "Get your act together!"?

If you imagined God as anything but overjoyed with you, you have fallen into a performance mindset. Because of Christ, God is deeply satisfied with you! When you are in Christ, and God looks at you, he sees his beloved Son with whom he is well pleased! Jesus has perfectly met God's holy standard, and his obedience has been counted as yours and his righteousness has been credited to you!

Sin causes us to forget our identity, which drives us toward performance. And sin tempts us to trust in our own self-effort, which spurs us to act as slaves instead of children. Fight back against your sin by dwelling on your true identity as God's sons and daughters! Remind yourself that God is well pleased with you because he is please with Jesus. We need to preach the gospel to ourselves every single moment of every single day! We NEVER outgrow the gospel. As we walk in repentance and faith, repentance and faith, repentance and faith the gospel and the cross will loom larger in our lives.

There is a quote I remember...don't remember the originator, but here it is: "Whatever can take away your sense of worth or value is what gives it to you." In light of this, why do we need to get our sense of identity from Christ? Because if we put our identity in something that is not everlasting, it is only going to fade away. But when we put our value in Christ, we know that he loves us and will never diminish and never grow weary!


I pray that we all would take an honest look into our own lives and see where our identity lies. If it is in something, ANYTHING other then you, Lord, I pray that you would reveal that to us and strip it away. Lord, I do not want to lessen the cross in my life, I want it to grow! Father, when I call you 'Father'...I want to really know what that means. I want to take that as it was meant to be...you are my Father and I am your son. Father God, continue to show me that my identity belongs in Christ and nothing else. Continue to make it clear in my mind that you are to be my identity and the source of my value.

Psalms 149:4

Stumbling Into Godliness

Wow...it has been too long! Haha...almost 20 days ago was my last post! Sorry about that, by the way, but it has been a crazy past month! I am back at school for CA (RA) training and that has kept me busy every day we have been here! Students come in on Saturday and I am sooooooo stinkin' EXCITED!!! I am praying that God would do incredible things on this campus this year and I know that He is going to be faithful in those requests!

Something that I kind of stumbled into in my time with the Lord in these past couple days has been thinking more and more about the process of sanctification. Sanctification means "to be set apart from" or "become holy". Obviously in my walk with the Lord this has been a huge part of my prayer life; I have prayed often that God would make me more holy and help me live the way He wants me to....and that has been the extent of my sanctification process.

As I was traveling through scripture these past couple days and listening to various sermons I have come across this idea of discipline in sanctification. Now this seems like a pretty simple thing to discover or come across, but I had never really put much thought into it before. I had always assumed that if there was any trace of my own effort in trying to become more holy, it was illegitimate because it was being done in my own power. I would just pray for holiness and sanctification and continue living the way I was living. This IS NOT how sanctification works!!! There is a discipline element to growing in godliness; it never just occurs. No one just wakes up and knows the Scriptures and prays constantly...it is to be worked at.

Before people start jumping down my throat, just hear me out...but I think there needs to be more effort on our ends in the sanctification process. Not effort in our own power, but effort through the Spirit, only by the power of Christ...grace-driven effort. The only effort that will matter is if God allows us, by His grace, to do those things and Him making us more holy.

Look at John 5:14...Jesus has just healed a man and has run into him again. Jesus gives him an odd warning; "stop sinning or something worse may happen to you." Jesus tells the man to stop sinning! But wait a second....I know what you are thinking...as a sinful human being I cannot just stop sinning! Its in my very nature to do so! When Jesus says "sin no more", he doesn't mean on your own. He is saying "Look what I've done! Wake up! I've come into the world to save sinners, I've come into the world to change things. LOOK to me; KNOW ME! And in the power you have just experienced, fight your sin! Fight, through the strength and Spirit I have given to you." Another example...

In Colossians 3:5 Paul instructs the Colossians to "put to death" their sinful nature. In the Greek, this is a command of action; a direct command to murder. God is telling us in this verse that we need to murder those things that hinder us. He is saying put to death sexual immorality, lust, greed, idolatry because if we do not do something about these "little sins" we are creating in our own souls a climate ripe and ground fertile for "varsity sins". The reason we need to violently attack even the "small sins" is because they create this enviornment conducive to the growth of sins that will destroy and harm not only our souls, but slander the name of God and wound and hurt all of those around us.

John Piper talks about this idea of putting to death of our sinful nature:

"The only possible attitude toward out of control desire is a declaration of all out war. I hear so many Christians murmuring about their imperfections and their failures and their addictions and their shortcomings and I see so little war! Murmur, murmur, murmur...why am I this way? MAKE WAR! There is a mean, violent streak to the TRUE Christian life. Violent to whom or what? Violent on every impulse in our souls to be violent to other people. Violence of mean streak in Christianity against our own selves and all in us that would make peace with sin and a settling in the peacetime mindset. A violence against all lust in ourselves. All enslaving desires for food, caffeine, sugar, chocolate, alcohol, pornography, money, the praise of man, approval of others, power, fame...this is our enemy! This is where we make war! It is a violence against all racism in our souls, all sluggish indifference to injustice in our souls. A violence against all indifference to poverty and abortion. The only foothold Satan has in your life is your flesh and your sin. Nobody goes to Hell because of Satan, the only reason we go to Hell is sin. Much more than fighting Satan is fighting sin. My biggest enemy is not Satan...my biggest enemy is John Piper, and he is the only reason I will go to Hell, not Satan. Satan doesn't have NEARLY that kind of power! Christianity is not a settle in, live-in-peace-with-the-world-the-way-it-is-religion like most Christians live their daily lives."

I agree %100 with Piper in that we all live these lives, not knowing or not wanting to face the reality that we are at war. We are at war with demonic forces and we are at war with ourselves and our sinful nature! It is about time that we pick up our swords and learn to fight; learn to swing!

Not only do we need grace-driven effort in bringing violence against our sin but we also need it in getting in the word, praying, memorizing scripture, etc. All of these things do NOT come easily and will most likely NOT happen over night. What do you think is the reason Paul says to "LABOR with him in prayer" and "TRAIN yourself in godliness" and "be on your GAURD; STAND FIRM in the faith; be men of courage; BE STRONG"? Its because he knows that it is not easy and that it is going to take EFFORT and a lot of it! Effort that cannot come from you or me, but only by the grace of God and only when we ask for it.

No one stumbles into godliness...

Let me repeat that...


NO ONE STUMBLES INTO GODLINESS!


Holiness doesn't just happen over night...it is something that is to be worked at and chased after. We need to be actively pursuing righteousness. If you are doing nothing today in regards to godliness and if you are tolerating the sin in your life, today's sins will beget more sin later. And while you are allowing it to grow and flourish, you are also suppressing sanctification and godliness to grow in your life. We must have a devotion to these things, making them disciplines in our lives to grow in holiness.


Father, I pray that we could go to you for our strength. I plea that you would allow us to strive toward you, Lord. We know that we can do nothing without you and trying to develop godly habits without you is impossible. I beg, God, that you would cultivate in us a desire to grow in holiness and I request that you give us the means necessary for that process. Give us yourself, Lord...give us your Spirit so we can act upon what we learn from your Word. I pray that we could take it from learning and put it into action. God give us the strength.

WordsWordsWords....

Today I was thinking back to my time spent in San Diego, specifically about some really funny memories and stories that I have collected. I thought about how all the staff members had a BLAST dressing up for the Staff Hunt, fun games with sticky hands, and other games concerning fruit salad! But the one that stuck out to me the most today was a game coined 'Copy!'. In this game whenever someone says something that could very easily be taken out of context and maybe even thought badly of, someone else in the room who hears can call out "Copy!" Then, whenever the 'copier' wants to, they can call out "Paste!" and the person whose comment was 'copied' then needs to repeat what their 'copied' statement was, no matter how ridiculous and no matter what the context! Think of copy and pasting like in a word document.......OK, sounds a little childish, but it is so much fun and gets some good laughs! It also makes you more aware of the things that you say.

We use words every single day; we express love, hatred, praise, complaints, everything through words. In one of my favorite movies, 'V for Vendetta', the main character describes words: "While the truncheon may be used in lieu of conversation, words will always retain their power. Words offer the means to meaning, and for those who will listen, the enunciation of truth." In short, words are POWERFUL. Whether we want to admit that or not, the words that come from our mouths are more powerful than we even think.

Our words have a drastic effect on the people around us in both positive and negative ways. King Solomon writes in Proverbs 16:27-28 about words used negatively:

"A scoundrel plots evil, and his speech is like a scorching fire. A perverse man stirs up dissension, and a gossip separates close friends."

This really reminded me of how sarcastic I can be sometimes. Whenever I use sarcasm, I almost IMMEDIATELY regret it, because even if I am "just joking" there always seems to be a bit of truth to every sarcastic comment I make. Whether the comment is hurtful to someone or just reveals my real attitude in the situation, it always gives me and others a little window into what is really going on in my heart. I mean, its exactly like Jesus says in Luke 6:45, "The good man brings good things out of the good stored up in his heart, and the evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in his heart. For out of the overflow of his heart his mouth speaks." You can tell if you are filled with the Holy Spirit or walking in your own power and flesh by what the overflow of your heart is! Its as simple as that, friends! But, like everything, there is a flip-side...the positive to it all.

Like I said, words are stinkin' powerful! I can name a million times when I've used words to hurt others, put them down, try to pull the speck out of a brothers eye (and forgetting the log in mine), gossiping about others...I could go on and on about all the negative things I have used words for, but they can also be so influentially positive. Words of affirmation and encouragement are INCREDIBLY powerful in someone else's life. Speaking words of wisdom and truth from God's Word is an AMAZING encouragement to others along with our personal encouragements for them. King Solomon says in Proverbs 16:23-24:

"A wise man's heart guides his mouth, and his lips promote instruction. Pleasant words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones."

Mmmmmmmmmm...I won't spoil that one with my over abounding personal explanations. Let's just leave it at that...Amen!

Brothers and sisters, I pray that we could think of ourselves in a constant game of 'Copy!', always watching what we say. I pray that we could realize when we are walking in our own strength and pray to be filled with the Spirit. I pray that we can be careful of what we say to others. Even if we are "joking", I really want us to take an honest look to see what our words are revealing about the conditions of our hearts. We can choose what we are going to use our words for, let's choose to use them for the good of others and to the glory of God. Amen.

"Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen."
---Ephesians 4:29

Lamp To My Feet...Light For My Path

Sometimes when getting in time with the Lord in singing songs, prayer, and getting into His Word, things can get dry for me. Sometimes it is just difficult to WANT to do those things, to DESIRE to have them be apart of my every day routine. I think the majority of this happens when I am dealing with the Word.

Something I vow to do with my life is be real with people...so, here it is...sometimes I get bored with the Word of God....there I said it! Let the silent judgments come forth. But, seriously, sometimes I just can't "get into it" and it seems like I am wasting my time when I am not doing it wholeheartedly. So I put it down and don't look back...that is until some sin from my past comes creeping back to the forefront because it sees my defenses are down and I am vulnerable. It always seems that when I do slip into those past habitual sins it is largely because I was not getting in the Word.

Lately I have been praying through the 22 stanzas of Psalm 119, and it has been AMAZING! Psalm 119 is all about God's Word and how important it is in our daily lives. By praying the contents I feel as if I am expressing true heartfelt admiration to God, who has so lovingly bestowed this great gift on us. Its his very words to us! How stinkin' awesome is that?! From praying through this chapter God is developing a fervent yearning for my personal life to reflect the loveliness and goodness displayed in this book. I now not only want it to, but I NEED it to shape my character into that of God's character. To rely on him and his Word for my life to reflect His forgiveness, His grace, His love; making me into a new creation (2 Corinthians 5:17).

I am seeing things in here that I have read over a hundred times before, but are now becoming more and more clear to me in different ways. Example... 1 Corinthians 13, everyone knows this one or has seen part of it written on some Midwestern household wall decoration ("Faith, Hope, Love"; "Love Never Fails", etc). Since I have been praying through Psalm 119, 1 Corinthians 13 has taken brand new meaning and power in my walk with the Lord! Not only reading how magnificent and wondrous his redeeming love is, but actually feeling it more and more throughout my day!

Another...even just the title of this entry, "Lamp To My Feet...Light For My Path", this is what God's Word has become for me this past summer. I have been turning to it for every decision, praying that God would reveal something, anything to me in it! And He has proved Himself faithful yet again, showing me the desires of His own heart for my life. It has become my lamp to light my way through this life and my shield against the flaming arrows the evil one slings my way.

This psalm reflects the view that the Lord, who abounds in steadfast love and faithfulness and who therefore freely and fully forgives his people when they confess their sins, loves his people without limit, and therefore also guides the faithful in the way of life that is genuinely good and beautiful. It speaks the language of one ravished with moral beauty, to which there is only one fitting response...to try and reproduce this beauty, as much as possible, in one's daily life. There is no pretense of perfection here, only yearning, and trust, and dependence on God. He is the one who does the changing in our lives, not us. We only need to submit to him and his Word.

I pray that we can all see how vital these words are in our lives. This is not just a book, people! This is the LIVING, ACTIVE, WORD OF GOD!!! It convicts us, rebukes us, shows us of God's love, mercy, and grace for us! It is the gospel, the GOOD NEWS! Praise the Lord that he has granted us such an amazing gift! He has given us everlasting life through these words...praise be to His name, forever. Amen.

The Greatest Short Phrase In The History Of Human Speech

I have made it a habit that every day I constantly pray that God would continue to show me how vast and how deep my sinfulness REALLY is and to give me a larger view of His glory/love/mercy/grace/holiness. In asking for these things, He has been faithful. He continues to provide me with a larger view of my sin and a larger view of Himself. I have been realizing these things more and more by the grace of God alone. Just the other day I was reading through Ephesians 2:1-5 and I would love to share with all of you what God has been teaching me.

"And you were dead in the trespasses and sins in which you once walked, following the course of this world, following the prince of the power of the air, the spirit that is now at work in the sons of disobedience---among whom we all once lived in the passions of our flesh, carrying out the desires of the body and the mind, and were by nature children of wrath, like the rest of mankind. But God, being rich in mercy, because of the great love with which he loved us, even when we were dead in our trespasses, made us alive together with Christ---by grace you have been saved."

---Ephesians 2:1-5


This passage can be broken up into two sections. Verses 1-3 are all about Man's Plight and verses 4-5 are about God's Provision. Now if we break this passage up this way, lets pick it apart according to those two sections. First, we have Man's Plight:

Friends, this first section reveals to us that as human beings we are in one heck of a pickle! These three verses show us that we are in more of a crisis, in a more urgent situation than any of us can ever imagine. We are in more trouble then if we were being held at gunpoint and watching as our friends and family were enduring torture. We are in more hot water then if we were drowning under a three-foot thick sheet of ice in a lake, our lungs burning for air. We are in an even larger extremity than if we were stuck on the 100th story of the Twin Towers on 9-11; having the choice of being burned alive by the jet fuel or jumping out our office window to our deaths. This is our plight:

Human beings as sons and daughters of Adam enter this world spiritually dead (Psalm 51:5). We have absolutely no inclination or responsiveness toward God and no ability to please Him. From the moment we enter into this world, we are alienated or cut off from Him because of what our father Adam did in the beginning. His sin is passed on to us all (Romans 5:18-19) and has condemned us all. The text says we were "dead in our trespasses" meaning we have trespassed somewhere. That somewhere was God's boundaries. We have seen God's perfect Law and have stepped outside of that, thus, we have sinned. We have offended God in thought, word, and deed.

We have followed the ways of this world and have been deceived by it. We have been deceived by the ruler of the kingdom of the air, Satan. Not only has Satan deceived us (2 Corinthians 4:4), but he also dominated us. We were his servants and slaves; captives to the evil one (John 8:44). We were "sons of disobedience" because we obeyed every word of poison that fell from his lips and rebelled against the one holy and true God. Whether in obvious or subtle ways, we disobeyed God and gratified the cravings of our flesh and sinful nature. Paul also says that we were "children of wrath". This means that because we disobeyed God and served Satan, were were subject to God's condemnation; the condemnation and judgment that we rightfully deserved (Ephesians 5:5-6). We were dead, deceived, dominated, disobedient, and doomed for eternity.

If you are not a follower of Jesus Christ, then you are still in jeopardy of a more dangerous predicament then you can possibly conjure up yourself and I strongly suggest listening to this next part. If you are a follower of Jesus, you WERE in this urgent situation. You were dead, but now made alive. You were condemned, but now you are justified through the blood of Jesus.

Friends, there is absolutely no worse condition than this....

It seems that this passage is pretty depressing....

And then comes the greatest short phrase in the history of human speech....two words that change EVERYTHING!!!

Take a look at verses 1-3 again. If you are a believer and follower in Jesus Christ, in the fact that He is fully God and fully man and came into this world to pay the penalty for your sins, then these three verses used to describe you. That is past tense, my friends! That was you....

No hopeless fate looks any grimmer than that which awaits the forlorn company of mankind marching behind the "prince of the power of the air" to their destruction under divine wrath. Just when things look the most desolate, verse 4 comes out of left field...

Now look at verse 4 again. What are the first two words?

"But God..."






BUT GOD!!!

The greatest phrase ever uttered out of one man's lips!

In just these two words the hopelessness and depression in the first three verses disappears without a trace! In these two words, we are brought out of darkness and have a way out of our quandary!

Paul goes on to tell us of three attributes of God that save us from total, eternal separation from Him. This section is all about God's Provision for the situation we find ourselves in. It describes his rich mercy, his great love, and the vastness of his grace. God's mercy on us, his helpless enemies, flows from his own loving heart, not from anything that we have done, but because he LOVES us (Ephesians 3:18-19)! God "made us alive together with Christ"...he gave us regeneration or new spiritual life within us (Ephesians 2:10; Ezekiel 36:26, 37:1-14). It is by nothing that we can do, but only by God's grace that we are brought from death to life!


If I could sum up the main thing I have pulled from this passage it would be this:

"Until you know your spiritual condition apart from the love, mercy, and grace of Christ, you will not and cannot appreciate the transformation God has led you to."

If you are not a follower of Jesus Christ, I pray that God will penetrate your heart with this blog entry. I pray that you will recognize the state that you are currently in and that you can do NOTHING by yourself, that you need God to save you from yourself and this world around you. And for those who do know Jesus as the Lord of their life, brothers and sisters, I pray that we can all recognize the state of disaster that we were in when we were apart from Christ. And more importantly, I pray that we can acknowledge and appreciate that God has taken way our sins and the sting of death, giving us eternal life with Him. I pray that we can give Him every ounce of the glory and praise Him for the rest of our days. Amen.

Spitting in the Face of the ALMIGHTY

Here's an excerpt from Will Walker's "The Kingdom of Couches"...

"I sin, which you know all too well by now, but I rarely say it. Sure, I admit that I sin because we are all sinners, blah blah blah. But it's more than that. My sin is tangible. It hurts people, people that I care about. I withhold good things from people. I blight the image of God. I'm not talking about the kind of hangnail sins we confess to each other these days. I'm trying to say that my sin, even more than I suspect, is the kind of gaping wound that makes you nauseous to look at.

Sometimes I find myself in the middle of lust or gossip or laziness, buying stuff to feel better or craving the approval of others, and I know it is wrong, wrong like vandalism and deception. Yet the urges that drive it, or at least the habits that perpetuate it keep pushing. They push so obstinately that I feel I've passed the point of no return, as if I'm obligated to it. In that moment I think it is just easier to stay the course, easier to satisfy the urge than to kill it. There is a certain kind of relief in giving up. At least its over. It's over. I can think clearly now. I confess it to God.

I don't always confess it. Sometimes I dismiss it as small, justify it, or lose it in the blur of the next activity. Sometimes I clean the kitchen or watch TV. Eventually I forget about it. What's in the past is in the past. I'm finished with it.

But IT is not finished with me. When gratified, sinful desire subsides, but it always comes back in familiar and mutated forms, strengthened by precedent. My heart gets harder and more disposed to the sin. Thus the sorrow of prevailing indulgence.

It's perplexing. In some ways I am growing and maturing and becoming who I think God wants me to be. Simultaneously sin is progressing and spreading in me like a cancer. It is somehow subtle and ferocious, a homicidal lull. Each singular act of sin is part of the scheme to harden me, to medicate the pain of cosmic adultery, to sing me quietly to sleep. I don't think enough about the real horror of what it means to sin, that I conceive with my sinful desires a lethal organism that is unleashed into the world around me, perpetuating pain and deception, working to undermine the activity of God among us. I do not consider the long-term effect on my soul, that I am becoming a slave to what I hate."


I was thinking of how I hate my sin, and how I hate myself whenever I give into that sin. I was trying to formulate words about it all when I came across this small section in Walker's book...coincidence? I think not! I could not have put it in any better wording than Walker has. It speaks exactly what I have been feeling lately and I wanted to share it with you all!

I have realized lately that I do not know or understand the monumental impact of my sin. Sin is always a reminder of how we blight the image of God, so I will pray that God will show me just how ugly my sin really is. That He would show me each time I give in I am only feeding a growing monster whose only interest is to devour me. In doing so, my view of my own sin will increase and my view of God's holiness/perfectness/greatness/mercy/love/GRACE will also increase.


1 John 1:9

This is just therapy...

"This is my therapy...just call it what it is with a death grip on this life always transitioning. This is just therapy, 'cause You're the only one who's left here listening to me."

--Relient K


I think Matt Thiessen (Relient K's lead singer/song writer) got it right when he sang about things in his life that were drastically changing. In these lyrics he says he has "a death grip on this life always transitioning". After listening to this song over and over again I have come to totally agree with what he is saying...


1.) This life that we are living is always not what we expect it to be; it is ALWAYS transitioning. We are always being thrown curveballs and sooner or later we are not ready for them until its too late and we get smacked in the face by reality. I always seem to assume I have things figured out in my life. And usually immediately after, all my expectations are shattered into a million pieces.

2.) Even when these things in my life seem to so obviously not fit with everything else, I still try to hold onto them...the familiar and the comfortable. Stepping into the unknown is scary for anyone. It requires a lot of faith. I have this death grip on every part of my life. I feel like there needs to be a change in something, but I refuse to let it go. I think this is showing me something about my deeply rooted sin of trying to control EVERYTHING! Hmmmmmm...

3.) But, in the end, it is not up to me to decide but rather God. By stepping out into the unknown is a terrifying thought...but, what I think is more terrifying is not obeying the one true God when He blatantly tells you something. I know that putting my full faith and my entire being into His hands is a billion million times more comforting then trying to control it all myself. And even though this life of ours is ALWAYS changing, ALWAYS in transition, and NEVER what we think it will be...God never changes. And because of that, we can put our trust in Him.

He is the only one left listening to me, and I find comfort in that...



Isaish 40:28-31
Do you not know?
Have you not heard?
The LORD is the everlasting God,
the Creator of the ends of the earth.
He will not grow tired or weary,
and his understanding no one can fathom.

He gives strength to the weary
and increases the power of the weak.

Even youths grow tired and weary,
and young men stumble and fall;

but those who hope in the LORD
will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
they will run and not grow weary,
they will walk and not be faint.


Romans 8:38,39
"For I am persuaded that neither death nor life, nor angels nor principalities nor powers, nor things present nor things to come, nor height nor depth, nor any other created thing, shall be able to separate us from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord."


2 Timothy 2:13
If we are faithless, He remains faithful; He cannot deny Himself.


Hebrews 13:8
Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever.

its a Venti Day!

My pen just died when I was journaling, but I still gotta get out my thoughts! Haha! So here it is!

I was always a little against Starbucks because of it being a big corporation and what not, but I have slowly been falling in love! The funny thing about it all is that I do not even like coffee that much...I only take it when it looks a pale brown color instead of black!

The thing I like about Starbucks (or any sort of coffee shop) is the enviornment. I am sitting in an insanely comfortable chair on top of a fun looking rug. There are three antique looking mirrors hanging next to one another and paintings all over the walls. This place is a place where friends come together and get to have fellowship in a quiet place. I love the idea of getting some real quality time with friends over a steaming hot drink, even if it leaves a bitter aftertaste!

I am so excited about this book I'm reading, "The Kingdom of Couches", because it is all about community and the need for fellowship. This has been a topic that has been at the forefront of my mind this summer. Mostly because I had such amazing community for the first part of this summer and I am worried about the second part. Home is sometimes a dark place for me to be, specifically because this is where my past is and it is even more tempting to slip into those past sins when I am here...and especially when I do not have that Christian fellowship.

Praise the Lord that I get to hang out with a great friend from the first half of the summer in San Diego (he is in Wisco for the summer) and Praise the Lord that I have two friends from school that are also in the area for the summer. One is interning at his church and the other just got back from East Asia. I got to spend the afternoon and night with them yesterday.

It has been so good for my heart to come back home and have these three men here in my life. It is definitely not going to be the same as San Diego; waking up, eating breakfast, and just doing life with some outstanding men of Christ, but I know this is where I need to be and I know it is going to be amazing.

God really reminded me today how much we need fellowship and how life-giving these three men have been to me in the past two days alone. He reminded me how He usually reminds me of things...through His word!


Psalm 133

How good and pleasant it is
when brothers live together in unity!

It is like precious oil poured on the head,
running down on the beard,
running down on Aaron's beard,
down upon the collar of his robes.

It is as if the dew of Hermon
were falling on Mount Zion.
For there the LORD bestows his blessing,
even life forevermore.


So, even though sometimes I am angry about spending the money on overpriced bitter water, it is well with my soul if it means community with men whom I am growing in relationship through Christ alone!

Thank You For....

-breathing us into being
-food to eat
-oxygen to breathe
-H2O to drink
-the sun and the moon
-oceans
-flowers
-friendships
-the stars
-babies/small children
-Skype
-family
-taste buds
-Your Word
-mentors
-bubbles
-giggling
-pain
-emotions
-music (even the annoying stuff that still gets stuck in your head)
-fireworks
-food
-new beginnings
-everlasting life
-laughter
-books
-blue skies
-clouds (especially the fluffy ones)
-new friendships
-comfortable beds
-endings
-hard times
-love
-butterflies (both insects and the ones inside your stomach)
-forgiveness
-mountains
-summertime
-colors
-sunrises and sunsets
-suffering
-diversity
-snow
-college dorm rooms
-home videos
-grace
-Your Son and Holy Spirit
-old friends
-roller blades
-digital cameras
-old photographs (preferably featuring grandparents when they were in their 20's)
-fire
-scents (good and bad)
-humility
-joy and cheerfulness
-truth
-hobbies
-food
-memories
-finding loose change
-finding $20 bills in old pants pockets
-finding things in general!
-the Internet
-quiet coffee shops
-alone time
-time spent with amazing people
-sand between my toes
-tears
-warm drinks on cold days
-"sick" days
-head phones
-balloons
-birthdays
-road trips
-leaves in the Fall
-caterpillars
-homemade gifts
-candles
-trees
-air conditioning
-ability/want/need to worship
-random adventures
-new book smell
-instruments
-movies
-fireflies
-big blankets
-little sisters and big brothers
-fun mugs
-journaling
-board games
-spur of the moment ideas
-fun days planned out
-laying in the pool
-bronzing next to the pool
-finding random treasures at thrift stores (or college dumpsters)
-artistic ability
-showers
-the woods
-hugs
-scarfs
-encouragement from others
-listening to and singing music a little too loud
-the feeling I get after cleaning my room
-did I mention food...?



"Give thanks to the God of Heaven. His love endures forever."

~Psalm 136:26

Dating and Marriage

"Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. After all, no one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the church--for we are members of his body."

--Ephesians 5:25-30


In this metaphor for Christ and the church, Jesus is obviously the groom and we, as the church, are His bride. This language of marriage is incredibly refreshing and has helped me experience the depth of what it means to be in a relationship with Christ. It isn't a relationship like dating someone, it is like being married to someone. Now, granted, I do not have any idea of what it is like to be married to someone, but I know that it has got to be a lot sweeter than dating someone! I have been dating this girl for over 3 years now, don't get me wrong, it is amazing to be in this relationship with her...but, being married to someone has to be so much better than dating!

I have been thinking more and more about this marriage metaphor God uses to describe our relationship to Him. It is much different than a dating relationship. Dating feels good, but it is very vague in terms of actual responsibility. Marriage, on the other hand, is very clear...just think about the vows you hear at every wedding you have ever been to; "For richer or poorer, in sickness and health, as long as you both shall live." It is saying, "You will be together FOREVER...there is no backing out of this one!" It seems like somewhere along the way, we as the church decided we'd rather just date Jesus instead of marry him.

It's a lack of responsibility.

A lack of commitment.

We are not fully committed to Him. We cheat on Him every single day by putting other things that are less important above Him, the God of this universe.

Jesus wants our everything. He doesn't want a loose idea of what our relationship will look like...He doesn't want to "date" us. He wants to marry us! He wants to have that intimate of a relationship with each and every one of us! Can you imagine that? The God of this world; the God who created you and this entire universe that you live in wants to be in communion with all of us! Not just any kind of communion...holy matrimony kind of communion. How amazing is that?!

My prayer is that we can look at our lives and see if we are in a relationship with Christ. And if we are, what kind of relationship do we have with Him?

Is it a dating relationship where we just go to Him when it is convenient? Do we just pray before a meal and forget about God for the rest of the day?

Or are we really married to Christ? Are we all in for Him? Is He the most important part of our life? Are we putting Him above all else in our lives and giving Him control of ourselves?

And So It Begins...

On May 31, 2010 the students arrived for the San Diego Summer Project 2010. Exactly a week ago I was sitting down in my condo on the San Diego Mission Bay thinking, "Wow, all the students are going to be here in just a day! I cannot wait!" It was for good reason that I was excited about them all coming...it has been such a blast so far!

On the first day we just moved everyone in and got people settled down in their respective houses and condos, and then the fun started! It first started when I got to meet all of the guys who are in my "Growth Group" (which is just a group of us who meet regularly and really get to know one another). Their names are SPENCER OBERSTADT
(Stevens Point Freshman), CHAD REINHARDT (Florida Statue University Freshman), CHRIS BARILE (North Carolina State Sophomore), PAUL FRIZ (Truman State University Sophomore), and MIKE COSTELLO (Southern Illinois University Edwardsville Freshman). Me and another staff member by the name of David Coulter are the leaders of this Growth Group and we are both so stoked for them all.

On the second day we had this thing we like to call "Soul-To-Soul" in which we spend the entire day with our Group Groups basically spilling our souls to one another. Even though we are all strangers to one another, we telling each other EVERY major thing that has happened in our lives. We talk about our victories, our struggles, our pains, our fears; EVERYTHING. This is such a scary thing to do when the people you are doing it with are strangers, but it is one of the coolest things we have done so far. From this we have become so close with one another just in a weeks time. It seems like we have known each other for such a long time when really it is the opposite.

What David and I do with these men is pour our knowledge, wisdom, abilities, etc. into their lives so they can apply these things to their summers and their entire lives. We have been job hunting every day this week and also sharing our faith with people on the beach, on the bus, walking down the street, when ever there is opportunity. It has been so encouraging to see all five of these guys take steps of faith and start conversations with strangers to tell them about their faith in Jesus Christ.

We also have been job hunting with them and they have been so amazing. They are stepping out in faith, expecting that God will provide jobs for them and provide for them what they need. They have become discouraged at some points in the hunt for a job, they have mostly stayed on top of it and have really been getting after it. Once again, it has been such an encouragement for me to see them do these things with such faith going into every and any store asking for applications. This is a big feat in itself because the unemployment rate in San Diego is 11%.

Each of them really want to grow closer to God and are here on the San Diego Summer Project to do just that. I am so excited to see what God is going to do with each of them over the course of this summer.

For myself, I am excited to learn more about what it means to be a leader. I am ready to learn more about discipling other men like Christ did. I am also thrilled to grow closer to God over this summer. He is stretching me in ways that I have yet to be stretched and I am ready to take on more of this.

I pray that God would stretch, mold, and shape me into the man he wants me to be this summer and for the rest of my life. This is something you can be praying for me as well. Thank you all for your support in me, it is appreciated more than you know.

God Bless

West Coast Friendships

"Aloha, my happy West Coast friends...do you feel alive?"

Hey everyone! Sorry its been so long since my last post! I was finishing up my finals at school (which went very well, by the way) and I had a ton of responsibilities for my job as a CA in the dorms. But, I got to leave school and Wisconsin a little earlier than expected...I got to leave to go to California for the second summer in a row! I am out here now interning with Campus Crusade for Christ.

Now a couple question probably pop in your head when you hear this...I will try and answer them as best I can. I am out here for half the summer as a student-staff member training students from across the States to be able to lead a Bible Study on their campus, share their faith with their close friends and family and even strangers, and help make them into leaders. It is going to be such a fun summer working with all these other students and staff.

I will be the 'co-leader' of a group of 5 guys from all over the place! I got a chance to talk with them all on the phone and I am so excited about them. They all seem like they are pretty awesome guys, I cannot wait til they get here on Monday.

We have around 40 staff and student staff who have been here preparing things for the students to come and also preparing ourselves physically, emotionally, and spiritually before the students get here. We have shared our faith numerous times already just in a week and I have gotten in some really great conversations! On my plane ride out here I started talking to a man named Everet and we started talking about spiritual things. Turns out he is a Christian and is so excited that I am going to San Diego to do God's work. He said he would be praying for our summer. It was such an encouragement to hear him say he was excited about what I was doing and that he was going to pray for me personally. God is so good...

I already have a TON of stories to tell you all, but it is real late here and I gotta get up early tomorrow. I will do my best to post to this at least 2 times a week this summer to let everyone know what God is doing out here in San Diego.

I pray that God works in your life and you continue to pursue him!

Broken Mess

The Classic Crime (one of my favorite bands) jut came out with their new album "Vagabonds" and this one of its songs..."Broken Mess". It is a very powerful song about how we treat our Savior after all He has done for us. It really hit me hard so I thought I would share it with you!



He can't sleep, he can't eat
He keeps thinking about her behind the locked door of her bedroom
As she knowingly tortures the shell that is left of her bridegroom
And what did he do to deserve
This whore of a wife who parades her disgrace to his face now
When he loved her and gave up his life in more ways than she knows how
And all I can say is that

Love is a terrible art, it’s a hook in the heart
That can drag you on broken glass
And as you protest the shards in your flesh
The hook tears out your chest until you’re just a broken mess

Where is God in this rot?
Depraved she commits the most heinous of sins and breaks her vows
But he loves her despite all the crimes she devises in his house
Where is God? I’ve been taught
That He’s close to the broken, it's true I have spoken with Him some
When I look in my brother's eyes I can see where his love comes from
And all he can say is that

Love is a terrible art, it’s a hook in the heart
That can drag you on broken glass
And as you protest the shards in your flesh
The hook tears out your chest until you’re just a broken mess

But he has mercy on her love and does not bleed him dry
A credit to his self control if it were me that monster would probably die

Love is a beautiful thing, she can make your heart sing
When you’re walking on broken glass
She will open your eyes, make your heart feel alive
Point you toward the sunrise
Help you leave all this broken mess behind

Love is a beautiful thing
Will you leave this broken mess behind?




Paul calls us as the church, as believers, Christ's bride. The bride in this song is us. We are whores who parade our sins in front of his face. But still He loves us...no matter what we do Christ still loves us. God is love (1 John 4:16). I think if we replace the bride of this song with ourselves we can really see how impactful this song is and how we defile God's name every day.

I pray that we could become a people who hold God above all else and strive not to defile His name and spit in His face. I pray that we could become aware of our own actions and ask God to change them.

Don't Assume You're On Good Soil

Sorry its been a while...busy as ever!

I was just reading this morning the Parable of the Sower (Luke 8:5-15). And Jesus is talking to a group of people about a farmer who is scattering seeds. Some fall along the path, get trampled on, and the birds eat them up. Some seeds fall on rock, and when they start to grow the plants wither because they can't get water. Other seeds fall among thorns, and the thorns grew up with the plants and choked the plants. Still other seeds fall on good soil and produce an amazing crop, 100 times more than was sown!

And Jesus then explains this parable by saying this...

"This is the meaning of the parable: The seed is the word of God. Those along the path are the ones who hear, and then the devil comes and takes away the word from their hearts, so that they may not believe and be saved. Those on the rock are the ones who receive the word with joy when they hear it, but they have no root. They believe for a while, but in the time of testing they fall away. The seed that fell among thorns stands for those who hear, but as they go on their way they are choked by life's worries, riches and pleasures, and they do not mature. But the seed on good soil stands for those with a noble and good heart, who hear the word, retain it, and by persevering produce a crop."


When I read this I started to think about it more deeply; which one am I? Of course all of us probably want to be the good soil that produces a great crop and is strong in their faith and living well. But, the reality is is that we lie to ourselves when it comes to ourselves. I like to think more highly of myself then I should or then I am, which is what made me second guess where I stand according to this parable.

To be the good soil we cannot just go to church every Sunday, put money in the collection plate, and be courteous to others. It is so much more then that! We need to live a life dedicated to God. We need to live each moment of our lives for Him; not just once a week on Sundays. What it takes to be the good soil is trusting in God, relying on Him, having a relationship with Him, loving Him, letting His love, grace, mercy, and forgiveness cover you and then reciprocating that to other people.

I suggest that you evaluate your own life...Be honest with yourself...

Have you heard what people say about God or what you hear in church about God and just dismiss it as fake or just tradition?
Did you start to learn about God and just fade away from it?
Has something happened in your life that made you stop believing what you once did? Family or friend pass away unexpectedly? Some sort of tragedy?
Are you just too "busy" to have God in your life? Caught up in your job, in money, the pleasures of this world?
Or are you sincerely on the good soil? Flourishing in your relationship with God by constant prayer and getting in His word (the Bible)?


Which soil are you?

Thirsty?

I just finished a two-week devotional called "Thirsty?", and it discusses in detail what our lives look like when we are trying to run it ourselves, what our should look like when we have Christ in charge of our lives, and how to make it happen. It was such a powerful read, I just wanted to leave you guys with a small teaser from it. Perhaps you will become "thirsty" for more?


"Have you ever felt that this can’t be all there is—that somehow there must be something deeper, something more to the Christian life? Something you don’t need to act out but a palpable source of energy and life flowing from the heart? Not behavior modification by your own effort and discipline but life transformation through God’s power? Jesus clearly taught that there was when he said, “if anyone is thirsty, let him come to me and drink. Whoever believes in me, as the Scripture has said, streams of living water will flow from within him.” John goes on to tell us, “By this he meant the Spirit” (John 7:37-39). According to Jesus, the Holy Spirit is the source of that “something more,” the source of what’s missing.

The phrase Jesus used, “living water,” was meant to evoke, among other Scriptures, Jeremiah 2:13: “My people have committed two sins: They have forsaken me, the spring of living water, and have dug their own cisterns, broken cisterns that cannot hold water.”

But even if we didn’t know Jeremiah 2:13, we could have understood Jesus’ implication by his use of the phrase “living water.” Sounds poetic, even mystical, doesn’t it? But Jesus didn’t use the term “living water” poetically or mystically. Living water was another term for freshwater, the stuff you use to water plants and animals, grow crops, clean dishes—the stuff you drink to live. And, importantly, it stands in opposition, not to stagnant (dead) water, but to saltwater.

Saltwater looks and feels like fresh, or living, water, but if you drink it for any length of time, it kills you. A person could be stranded in the
middle of the ocean floating atop a gazillion gallons of it and
die of thirst. The more you drink saltwater, the thirstier you get. If there’s a better picture for sin, please stop me at any point.

And so here we are again, back at the basic meaning of Jeremiah 2:13. It’s not just that our souls need living water or we’ll die of spiritual thirst; it’s that we’re dying of thirst because we drink from alternative wells, chugging down saltwater instead of fresh. What our souls thirst for is Christ, whom we experience by the Spirit.

Like the body, the soul can’t go very long without water. And so everyone, most every day, gets thirsty, as experienced in innumerable forms: insecurity, unforgiveness, meaninglessness, loneliness, hopelessness, emptiness, boredom, dissatisfaction, worry, anxiety, and so on. Our souls are constantly crying out for something to drink. So we drink.

But all temporal forms of refreshment (sex, drugs, success, fame, busyness, entertainment, travel, materialism) are, in the end, saltwater. In the moment, they taste and feel like water to the lips but they only succeed in making us thirstier. If we persist in drinking them, they are spiritually terminal.

But this isn’t the worst tragedy. The greater tragedy by far is that those of us who have come to know Christ continue to drink the same saltwater that unbelievers drink, though perhaps in more socially acceptable forms.

When we feel the thirst of insecurity, for example, do we turn to the Lord or do we buy clothes, lift weights, clamor for attention, flirt, judge others or put others down, or get jealous? When we feel the thirst of loneliness or dissatisfaction, do we turn to the Lord or do we eat, watch TV, play on the computer, fantasize, sleep?

When we need confidence, do we rely upon God or jack ourselves up with music, coffee, nicotine, Red Bull, new clothes, self-talk, cool speech? To what are we turning to satisfy those thirsts?

Though we have living water (the Holy Spirit) within us, we satisfy our thirst in much the same ways unbelievers do. Maybe we’ve stopped having premarital sex or taking illicit drugs—maybe—but that doesn’t mean we’re not turning to saltwater. In truth, we’re often consuming it daily . . . by the gallon.

And this, when you clear everything else away, is at the core of our dissatisfaction and thirst: we are not filled and do not walk with, or drink from, the Spirit in the way we could or should.

Now, it could be that we just don’t know any better. Maybe we never even knew the source of living water was within us. Or maybe we thought we were supposed to gut out a godly life in our own strength through discipline and abstinence. Maybe this is all we’ve ever seen modeled. Whatever the reason, it doesn’t matter, because we are going to change all that."


This is just the introduction to a 2-week devotional entitled "Thirsty" by Rick James.

More information and how to order a copy here:
http://crupress.campuscrusadeforchrist.com/discipleship/thirsty

Midterms = Stress

Sorry its been a couple days since I've posted...its midterms week here at Point. Not too excited about it. I had three exams and two papers I needed to have completed by the end of this week. I just got done with one of my exams and I wasn't too happy about it...but, there is always next time!

Along with the theme of midterms, God has been putting the thoughts of stress and worry on my heart. I was just reading through the book of Philippians and I came across 4:6...

"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God."

"Do not be anxious about anything"....man, that is not me at all. I am anxious about EVERYTHING! I am worried about money, what am I going to do after college, what do people think of me, am I portraying God in a good way right now, etc., etc. But this passage is calling us not to worry or be anxious about anything, but instead give it up to the Lord and know that he will have supreme power over it. Like I said, God has put it in my heart because of me reading through Philippians, but, God is also reaching me through another book.

I am reading Francis Chan's "Crazy Love" right now and let me tell you, it is stinkin' amazing! It is all about the love that God has for us and the love that we should have for him. But, the part I want to focus on is also about worry and stress. I'll just write it out for you...
"Worry implies that we don't quite trust that God is big enough, powerful enough, or loving enough to take care of what’s happening in our lives.
Stress says that the things we are involved in are important enough to merit our impatience, our lack of grace toward others, or our tight grip of control.
Basically, these two behaviors communicate that it’s OK to sin and not trust God because the stuff in my life is somehow exceptional. Both worry and stress reek of arrogance. They declare our tendency to forget that we’ve been forgiven, that our lives here are brief, that we are headed to a place where we won’t be lonely, afraid, or hurt ever again, and that in the context of God’s strength, our problems are small, indeed.
Why are we so quick to forget God? Who do we think we are?
I find myself relearning this lesson often. Even though I glimpse God’s holiness, I am still dumb enough to forget that life is all about God and not about me at all.
It goes sort of like this…
Suppose you are an extra in an upcoming movie. You will probably scrutinize that one scene where hundreds of people are milling around just waiting for that two-fifths of a second when you can see that back of your head. Maybe your mom and closest friend get excited about that two-fifths of a second with you…maybe. But no one else will realize it is you. Even if you tell them, they won’t care.
Let’s take it a step further. What if you rent out the theater on opening night and invite all your friends and family to come see the new movie about you? People will say, “You’re an idiot! How could you think this movie is about you?”
Many Christians are even more delusional than the person I’ve been describing. So many of us think and live like the movie of life is all about us.
Now consider the movie of life…
GOD creates the world. (Were you alive then? Was GOD talking to you when He proclaimed “It is good” about all He had just mad?)
Then people rebel against GOD (who, if you haven’t realized yet, is the main character in this movie), and GOD floods the earth to rid it of the mess of people made it.
Several generations later, GOD singles out a ninety-nine-year-old man called Abram and makes him the father of a nation (did you have anything to do with this?).
Later, along come Joseph and Moses and many other ordinary and inadequate people that the movie is also not about. GOD is the one who picks them and directs them and works miracles through them.
In the next scene, GOD sends judges and prophets to His nation because the people can’t seem to give Him the one thing He asks of them (obedience).
And then, the climax: The Son of GOD is born among the people whom GOD still somehow loves. While in this world, the song teaches His followers what true love looks like. Then the Son of GOD dies and is resurrected and goes back up to be with GOD.
And even though the movie isn’t quite finished yet, we know what the last scene holds. It’s the scene I already described in chaper1: the throne room of GOD. Her every being worships GOD who sits on the throne, for He alone is worthy to be praised.
From start to finish, this movie is obviously about God. He is the main character. How is it possible that we live as though it is about us?
Our scene in the movie, our brief lives, fall somewhere between the time Jesus ascends into heaven (Acts) and when we will all worship God on His throne in heaven (Revelation).
We have only our two-fifths-of-a-second-long scene to live. I don't know about you, but I want my two-fifths of a second to be about my making much of God. 1 Corinthians 10:31 says, "So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God." That is what each of our two-fifths is about.
So what does that mean for you?
Frankly, you need to get over yourself. It might sound harsh, but that's seriously what it means.
Maybe life's pretty good for you right now. God has given you this good stuff so that you can show the world a person who enjoys blessings, but who is still totally obsessed with God.
Or maybe life is tough right now, and everything feels like a struggle. God has allowed hard things in your life so you can show the world that your God is great and that knowing Him brings peace and joy, even when life is hard. Like the psalmist who wrote, "I saw the prosperity of the wicked...Surely in vain have I kept my heart pure...When I tried to understand all this, it was oppressive to me till I entered the sanctuary of God" (Ps. 73:3, 13, 16-17). It is easy to become disillusioned with the circumstances of our lives compared to others'. But in the presence of God, He gives us deeper peace and joy that transcends it all.
To be brutally honest, it doesn't really matter what place you find yourself in right now. Your part is to bring Him glory---whether eating a sandwich on lunch break, drinking coffee at 12:04 a.m. so you can stay awake to study, or watching your four-month-old take a nap.
The point of your life is to point to Him. Whatever you are doing, God wants to be glorified, because this whole thing is His. It is His movie, His world, His gift."

This really hit me hard....I'll tell you more later! Love you all, thanks for reading and I hope God can speak to you through this blog!

Ryan

Short and Sweet

Pray for me...giving my testimony tonight for Cru's Fellowship Dinner. The Fellowship Dinner is an event where we invite the community, family, and friends to come and see what God is doing on this campus. I have been asked to tell everyone there how God has changed my life and how this ministry here has helped shape me into the man I am now. I am praying that God speaks to a lot of hearts through this event and I pray that if some don't know Him they will seek out who He is and want to be apart of this divine love story...


"But you, beloved, building yourselves up in your most holy faith and praying in the Holy Spirit, keep yourselves in the love of God, waiting for the mercy of our Lord Jesus Christ that leads to eternal life."
--Jude 1:21

His Steadfast Love Endures Forever

God is so good! Even though it is such a dreary day outside I feel great! I just sent out a message five minutes ago on Facebook to everyone apart of my Facebook Support Team and already I have five people respond asking to receive a letter. Can I say it again? God is sooooo good! I am so stoked to see how He is going to raise all of my support and how He is going to sharpen my faith through it.

Got together with Lisa Mast today to go over my testimony which I am giving this Saturday at the Fellowship Dinner for Campus Crusade for Christ. I am very excited for it! My parents (and maybe my Grandma) are coming and that is what I am most excited for. I love them all so much I don't think they even understand!

I was thinking today...wow, I really do love a lot of people. Not the, "I love my shoes" or "I love hamburgers" kind of love, but genuinely love them. It just amazes me how I can be such a different person all because of God and the love He has shown me. According to 1 John 4:8, GOD IS LOVE. He is the single reason why we can love, because we have seen his love. Then I found this little nugget in Psalms....


"Make a joyful noise to the Lord, all the earth!
Serve the Lord with gladness!
Come into his presence with singing!

Know that the Lord, he is God!
It is he who made us, and we are his;
we are his people, and the sheep of his pasture.

Enter his gates with thanksgiving,
and his courts with praise!
Give thanks to him; bless his name!

For the Lord is good;
his steadfast love endures forever,
and his faithfulness to all generations."
--Psalm 100

And I'll leave you all with that.
Remember that you are loved by a God who created you and wants to be in deep, personal relationship with you!

This Church is Unsound...

Hello friends!

First post and I am excited about it. I can imagine that many of you are confused at the title of my blogspot. Well, let me enlighten you...there is this amazing band by the name of 'Oh Sleeper', and "This Church is Unsound..." is a lyric from one of their songs. The full lyrics are, "When I am God, this church is unsound." Its a very powerful song called 'Vices Like Vipers', asking why we hold onto the things that hold us and bring us down. One of my favorite bands ever!

On a different note, I am very excited about this week. I feel like it is going to be a great week seeing as how I had one heck of an amazing weekend with the most beautiful girl I know! I went to visit Hannah for her birthday and it was such a great weekend. So, I have a good feeling about this week...thinking its going to be a good one.

I am super pumped about going back to San Diego Summer Project and being an intern. God is going to do work there this summer and I am more than excited to see what he has in store for everyone. I am just now starting my support raising adventure. I started a Facebook group to get in contact with everyone and let people know what I am doing:

http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=353041450741&ref=mf#!/group.php?gid=353041450741&ref=mf

Class starts in a minute, so I will post again soon!

"If I speak in tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. And if I have prophetic powers, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith, so as to remove the mountains, but have not love I am nothing."
--1 Corinthians 13:1-2